I have a friend who, every now and then, will send me my horoscope (it’s a weekly horoscope I believe). Sometimes the horoscope fits well with what’s happening in my life, other times not so much. Honestly, it doesn’t really matter if you believe in horoscopes or not, that’s not the point (although, full disclosure — I love horoscopes and I totally relate to my zodiac sign). The point is, that whether it’s a coincidence or not, every now and then, this horoscope is able to perfectly capture and define what I’m feeling and or what is going on in my life, and the horoscope she sent me this week has done just that.
I think it’s important to read things that you can identify with. That’s a huge part of why I write for a living, for why I keep a blog in my spare time, and why I love writing as an art.
I can’t remember the last time I came across something that I could identify with as much as I can this horoscope – and I’m so glad she sent it to me because 1.) it makes me feel understood, and 2.) it makes me feel more confident in myself and what I’m going through right now.
The horoscope was as follows:
“When the world tries to make sense of you, it’s okay to push back. You’re made of life and motion, and you have work to do here beyond making yourself perfectly knowable. Your wildness is a thing of value too. Even under the world’s watchful eyes, you’re allowed to shift and change. You’re allowed to define who you are, then define yourself anew.”
Where do I even begin? This thing captures the essence of what I’ve been feeling and going through for quite some time now (a little less than a year I would say). “When the world tries to make sense of you…” or in other words, when I feel as though I have to shape myself in such a way that I’m able to fit into what’s normal, “it’s okay to push back…” It’s okay to not be normal. It’s okay to explore what feels better for me.
This is something I have experienced my entire life. It’s something we all experience – the push of society to be a certain way. The rounding of our oddly shaped edges so that we can fit into the smooth, round holes that surround us. I am not round and I am not smooth. I have jagged edges everywhere, I am beautifully textured, and I am proud. From the very beginning I’ve known that I would never fit into those holes, and even though I’ve tried, and at times wanted to, it’s something that just hasn’t been and isn’t going to happen.
“You’re made of life and motion, and you have work to do here beyond making yourself perfectly knowable.” Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Sometimes I get so caught up with trying to make myself fit into these holes so that I can be like everyone else – so that I can do things the right way – that I get distracted from the awesome things that I know I could be doing otherwise. I am made of life and motion, but trying to conform to things that don’t make sense to me, just because they make sense to everyone else, slows my roll faster than anything.
“Your wildness is a thing of value too.” Other people might not get it, they might not agree, they might think I’m crazy and foolish, but that doesn’t mean it’s true. There is value in my “wildness.” I can do things my way and still be okay.
And finally, “Even under the world’s watchful eyes, you’re allowed to shift and change. You’re allowed to define who you are, then define yourself anew.” People are watching and judging and thinking whatever they want to think, and they will continue to do so; but that doesn’t mean I can’t still do my thing. That doesn’t mean I don’t have the space and the freedom to unleash what’s burning beneath the surface of my jagged and textured soul. It’s okay for me to change – to become the person I’ve been trying to become – even if people already think I’m something else. I can let the world be what it is and still move through it exactly as I am – exactly as I am growing to be.
That is what this horoscope is saying to me. That is my interpretation. And now, more than ever, I know that I am moving in the right direction, because this is what has been driving me. Fear has been holding me back, and these were exactly the words I needed. Now I know that I can take my fear by the hand, and continue to move forward and live my truth.